Occasionally enjoyable, but overly unimpressive; Stallone and the team's third outing shows promise, but fails to deliver. Scott Gentry reviews "The Expendables 3".

"The Expendables 3" (12A)
Directed by: Patrick Hughes.
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren and Mel Gibson.  
Rated: 12A for containing frequent moderate action violence and infrequent strong language.
Running time: 126 minutes.
Released in UK cinemas from the 14^th of August, 2014.

Many will remember infamous 80’s classics such as "Predator" and "Rambo: First Blood" (these were childhood favourites of mine!) and will reminisce over their ability to entertain through exciting action, despite intolerable acting. Through thick and thin, we've always had a soft spot for our 80’s film icons, but here in the third installment of a dying franchise, this capable cast are condemned in a lacklustre sequel that isn't as entertaining, bloody or chaotic as it should be.

This cretinous chapter follows Barney (Stallone, he must have a speech impediment, surely?) and his team (Lundgren, Crews, Couture, they're all here!) as they begin to realise that this band of merry men may be a little old for their career as mercenaries, which is quickly becoming a young man's game. Upon embarking on a mission given to them by the mysterious CIA agent, Max Drummer (Ford), the operation turns deadly as the team are ambushed by an old adversary, named Conrad Stonebanks (Gibson). The assignment leaves one man seriously injured and the group facing a dangerous threat. Soon the team are disbanded, with Barney vowing to return with a younger, stronger and computer-literate team, in order to hunt down his foe at all costs.
 

It all sounds rather good in retrospect, but the truth of the matter is that the companies involved should never have let Stallone write the film's story, and co-write its script. When Stallone doesn't attempt to help out a film by lending his ‘talents’, they’re surprisingly entertaining; remember "Cop Land"? It was his defining moment in cinema, simply because he didn't touch the script. But Hughes has made a mistake, and like the original two films, Stallone's mark is all over this catastrophe of a film.

“The Expendables 3” would be passable in the long line of Friday night tripe, that may be found on Channel Five in a couple of years, but the film’s script fails miserably due to its inability to juggle drama and humour. There are bouts of tension and suspense between the original team, which is promising, but at the next possible moment, comedy ensues. Stallone and his screenwriters Creighton Rothenberger and Katrin Benedikt have improved slightly on the sequel’s shocking script, yet the unbearable dialogue remains. Saying that, the writers have toned down the jokes to a more tolerable level with the occasional quip that is surprisingly funny, especially when Snipe’s character is asked the reason for his imprisonment, to which he replies “tax evasion”.

The characters are particularly weak and this is due to the script, as it seems as though character development isn't the screenwriter’s forte, leaving many characters feeling like fillers, especially Jet Li, as he turns up for the last twenty minutes (or less) of the film. However, Bandera's character occasionally shines, as he provides a comical performance with the odd moment of sincerity. In regards to the new recruits, Stallone should have let them be. Kellan Lutz, Ronda Rousey and Victor Ortiz aren't used properly, and are given characters that are particularly thin. The trio can’t act well at all and they only contribute to making the film worse, through a worthless rivalry between the old team and the new. Perhaps in the future Mr Stallone, it’s not such a good idea to use certain UFC fighters as actors?

When the film couldn’t get any worse, it surprises its audience again with shocking CGI that should only be found in straight to DVD releases. The shots of helicopters, planes and falling buildings are atrocious and continue up until the last fight sequence. To make matters worse, the film has been toned down for a ‘12A’ rating, dropping the gore and bad language for a more family friendly approach. Quite honestly, it doesn't feel like this third chapter has captured the spirit of the originals, instead it seems to be more of an exercise in making large amounts of money.
 

Verdict

There are moments in which “The Expendables 3” works considerably well, but it isn't enough to entertain previous audiences or the new wave of fans they are hoping to gain. A fourth installment? No thanks.

4 Stars out of 10

Written by Scott Gentry.

Film Rating Key

1-2 stars out of ten = Awful.

3-4 stars out of ten = Average.

5-6 stars out of ten = Good.

7-8 stars out of ten = Excellent.

9-10 stars out of ten = Amazing.