Diabetes Candy: Hansel and Gretel
by Jon Petre
"Hansel
and Gretel: Witch Hunters"
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Starring:
Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton.
Certificate: 15
Out Now
Hansel and Gretel has had a lot to live
up to. Jack the Giant slayer and Oz the Great and Powerful have both come out
within a month of each other and Hansel and Gretel, and all three movies share
the idea of "Fairy tale/Classic story with a modern/steam
punk twist". If I was Wirkola (the director) then I would have
personally waited a few months or released it earlier, although I can see
the advantages of releasing it in March (the bar will have been set and harder
to beat if he released it later, and the audience would be more critical if it
was earlier). Still, Jack the Giant Slayer has set the bar pretty low for
Hansel and Gretel, so that's a little less pressure.
Hansel and Gretel starts off kicking,
with a strong opening sequence. The back story of Hansel and Gretel's
parents is interesting and engaging, if somewhat generic. But I think the movie
went sort of downhill from there. It was pretty stereotypical, and they really
didn't do anything truly original with the film. I mean, if you didn't see the
plot twists and turns coming, then you should probably see a doctor. But to be
honest, I expected as much from an action movie with an already established story
line behind it.
Another thing that I think the movie
was lacking was the characters' well, characters. The characters were pretty
two-dimensional and Gemma Arterton (Gretel) seemed a bit wooden. It was
much the same with Jeremy Renner (Hansel) but he was a little more developed.
Still though, there was definitely room
for expansion/improvement. I mean, the giant troll guy named Edward, his
story was never even explained! When Gretel was stuck in the woods with him,
the audience was lead to believe that we'd find out his touching
story in a coming scene, but instead it was never explained, save for the fact
that "Witches don't like trolls".
One of the film's merits was
the addition of Hansel's diabetes, which I thought was smart. It's
not often that you see an action hero with some sort of medical or physical
disability/condition *cough* Tony Stark *cough*, and I suppose if you eat
sections of a house made from witch candy then you're bound to at least get a
tummy ache. However I found it quite convenient for our hero Hansel that
despite the fact that his condition required him to take an Insulin shot every
four hours or so, he was able to survive without one for at least a day and a
half. And what were the chances of his insulin running out in the middle of the
big spat with the Grand Witch in an action movie?
Honestly, it was a huge huge
plot hole! And what's worse is that the whole problem could have been fixed by
getting him to stab himself in the leg at least once in between the village
fight and the mountain fight! Seriously! And Insulin wasn't extracted
from pigs until 1899, nor was it synthesized until past 1920! So
where did Hansel's supply come from?
I Hate plot
holes.
Overall, Hansel and Gretel was good for
what you get. If you want an action movie to watch once or twice if it's on TV,
then this is your movie. However, if you want more than an action movie, look
elsewhere. the CGI/3D was pretty amazing to be honest, so that's also another
plus for you action guys out there. The characters could have been deeper
developed, but action movie characters rarely are, so I'm not
really surprised.
3 STARS
Reviewed by Jon Petre
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